


A Not So Happy Reunion

by NoblestRomanOfThemAll (AnxiouslyGoing)



Series: Found Family AU [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Depiction of panic attack in chap 4, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Hurt/Comfort, Implications of abuse in chap 4, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Suspected Eating Disorder, Teen Roman, Teen Virgil, teen Janus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiouslyGoing/pseuds/NoblestRomanOfThemAll
Summary: Reunions aren't always filled with joy and excitement. Sometimes it's just the heavy relief of knowing the person we love is finally safe coupled with the pain of knowing they weren't always.
Series: Found Family AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821112
Comments: 16
Kudos: 68





	1. Worse Than We Thought

“Yes, of course. I understand. Thank you, I’ll be there soon.” Logan ran a hand through his hair and hung up the phone. 

“So what’s the good news?” Virgil questioned. 

“Uh,” Logan glanced around the room, trying to reorient himself. “Roman is...a little worse than we first thought. He’s healthy enough to come home, but we will need to keep a close eye on him. It is possible he’s recently developed an eating disorder. Thomas thinks it might help the transition if I pick him up on my own so we don’t overwhelm him with everybody being there immediately.” 

“Are you gonna be okay to do that?” Patton questioned, resting a hand on his brother’s arm. 

Logan took a breath and nodded. “Yes. We knew this was a possibility from the start.” 

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Janus asked. 

“Be prepared for possible changes,” Logan shrugged. “I’m afraid I won’t have a real answer to that until we figure out more about what’s going on with Roman.” 

\---

Thomas met Logan as he strode up to the office door. “Hey-”

“Is here here?”

“He’s here- slow down,” Thomas stepped in his way. “Look. We don’t know for sure what’s going on, alright? All we know is he’s lost a significant amount of weight in a short time and he’s been throwing up at school. He hasn’t said anything about what’s causing this, and there’s no obvious signs of physical abuse. You know we can’t ask any kind of leading questions, but if he  _ says _ something to you-”

Logan nodded his understanding. “I’ll let you know.” 

“Thank you. These kinds of things don’t happen without some kind of trigger, the sooner we know what that is the sooner we’ll be able to help him.” 

Logan nodded again. “Can I see him now?” 

“Go ahead.” 

\---

Roman spun around when the door opened. For a moment he and Logan simply stared at one another. All at once they moved forward in unison, pulling each other into a tight embrace. 

“You’re safe now,” Logan murmured when Roman buried his face into the crook of his neck. “I’m here. Just like I promised. I came back.” 

“What about your other promise?” Roman questioned without raising his head. 

“We’re looking for him, Roman.” 

“There’s only a year left.” 

“I know. I know, Roman, but I promise we’re trying. We’re doing everything we can to find your brother. I brought something for you.” Logan stepped back and held out a small stuffed dragon. 

Roman took the thing almost reverently and hugged it to his chest. “You kept my beanie baby.” 

“You gave him to me when I was moved, so he could keep me safe. And he did. So now I’m giving him back to you, so you’ll know you’re safe now too.” 

“Thanks, Lo.” 

“I do have a little bit of an update on Remus,” Thomas cut in gently as he came back into the room. “It’s...not as much as we were hoping for, but Marjorie and I were able to set a pretty firm timeline of the homes he’s been. He’s run away from most of them, which complicates things, but we are making progress. As soon as we have any new information, I promise you two will be the first to know.” 

The teen nodded, sullenly. “Thanks.” 

Thomas gave his arm an encouraging squeeze. “Try to get to some rest, you’ve got a good family looking out for you.” 


	2. Fair Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to know what to expect from a new home, lucky for Roman he has Logan to give him a low down of what to expect.

Logan glanced sideways at Roman, who still held the tired, red beanie baby to his chest. “Are you okay?” 

“Nervous, I think. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but-” Roman shrugged. 

Logan nodded. “Thomas mentioned you’ve been moved around a lot.” 

“Yeah, guess the extra money they got for me having an IEP wasn’t worth me being a ‘problem kid’.” Roman flinched as soon as the words were out. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.” 

“It’s okay," Logan assured. "It’s okay for you to upset over what you’ve been through. And it’s okay for you to vocalize those feelings. That’s part of healing.” 

Roman tried to search Logan’s face as he stared dutifully through the windshield. 

“And just to clear the air," Logan continued, "it’s okay if you need time to settle in. I don’t expect this to be an easy transition just because we knew each other before. I know neither of us are quite the same people we were as kids.”

“I don’t think that’s _quite_ how that phrase is meant to be used, but I appreciate that. It does help a little, knowing you, but I know...there are other people there too.” 

Logan nodded. “Patton is my younger brother, he is….very enthusiastic about everything. Actually I think the two of you would have gotten along very well when we were kids. He has inattentive ADHD, and there is a good chance he will hug you as soon as you are in the door. You have been warned.” 

Roman snorted. “Still tactful as ever, I see.” 

“Thank you for noticing,” Logan replied with as much sarcasm, “it’s the Autism.” 

“Wait, really?” 

“Mhm. I was diagnosed not long after we were separated.”

“Oh, guess that would explain a few things…” 

“It would, indeed. Janus is the next oldest,” Logan continued back with the original line of conversation. “He’s about a year or so younger than you, and has several medical conditions that made it difficult for him to remain in a given place, as well as Selective Mutism related to an anxiety disorder.” 

“Do you have that too?” Roman wanted to know. “Sorry, I didn’t- I just remember when we were younger, you kind of had some trouble too,” he stammered out. 

“It’s alright, I don’t mind questions, and to answer yours: no. I don’t have Selective Mutism, but I do have nonverbal shutdowns related to my autism. Virgil is not quite a year younger than Janus and he has Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well as some struggles with depression in correlation to the anxiety. Virgil and Patton were in a home together about the same time you and I were together, then later Virgil and Janus were a group home together.”

“Wow. Small world,” Roman muttered. 

“It is. Which is why we’ve already made preparations for when we find Remus. You’ll have to share a room, but there is a pullout hideaway bed in your room and we have the extra bedding for it.” 

“Do you think he’s okay?” 

“I don’t know, Roman,” Logan answered honestly. “I truly hope that he is, but until we find him, or know why he’s running away...I can’t answer that. But I  _ promise _ we are looking.” 

“I believe you. And...thank you for not giving up.” 

“I would never do that to you. Some other things you should know, I am  _ legally  _ your guardian, but any decisions will be made collectively. What you have to say is important to me and I want you to feel like you can come to me with any concerns. But I'm also aware that that could take some time. Patton and Virgil have worked out a system of writing letters back and forth for some things so if you find some method works better for you than others we will do our best to adapt to that." 

Roman gave an amused hum. "Really thought of everything, huh?" 

"I tried to. I want you to feel like this is  _ your _ home, not just a home you're  _ staying _ in. As I know was the case for me. It was a home I felt comfortable in and felt safe in, but it wasn't  _ my _ home. I don't want that for you. But I also know that...that takes time and adjustment. Even when it was just Patton and I, it took some time for it to feel like home." 

"You're much bigger sap than I remember," Roman commented. 

"I've done my research on these topics," Logan nodded. "Employing them is...tricky at times, but I do my best to be sympathetic. This is largely based off my own experiences, so if there is something you feel could be done better-" 

Roman snorted. "Yeah, that sounds like the Logan I know. I appreciate it. Even if I'm...not sure...about a lot." 

"It'll come in time," Logan assured.


	3. Meet the Overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most people tend to over exaggerate how weird their family is, Logan maybe one of the few that under exaggerates it.

"They're probably waiting in the kitchen," Logan ushered Roman into the house. "Patton bakes when he's excited. Or nervous. Or bored." 

"So he likes to bake then?" 

"We're never short on cookies," Logan sighed. "Would you like to go put your things away before Patton decides to not let you out of the kitchen until you've tried each of his desserts?" 

Roman chuckled a little uncertainly. "Sure." 

Logan nodded and led him toward the stairs. 

"Lo, is that you?" 

Logan turned seriously to Roman. "Because I love you I insist you run." 

"I could, but I don't know where to," Roman pointed out. 

"Lo?" 

"Fair enough. I guess then-" 

"Oh hey!" Patton grinned bright as he came to stand beside Logan. "You must be Roman." 

Roman turned to the new voice and managed a smile. "Hi." 

"Don't worry, I'm not one who'll make you do hugs. Logan likes to tease about that. But I am here if you need one. I'm also here to tell you dinner will be ready in about five minutes. Janus and Virgil are upstairs too, if you could let then know when you go. I know first nights are a little overwhelming so I won't bother you anymore right now and let you get settled in a little before dinner. And ya don't have to worry about us springing a family game night on you air anything like, mostly because we don't actually have those unless there spur of the moment which we won't be doing tonight so ya don't have to feel pressured into that or anything. I'm gonna actually stop rambling now and go get the garlic bread out of the oven. We're really happy to have you with us though, Roman." And as quickly as he had come, Patton was disappearing into the kitchen. 

Roman blinked. "You were not kidding about him being a lot." 

"No," Logan agreed. "But he means well." He gestured to the stairs and began leading him up them. He opened a door and ushered Roman inside. "I hope your favorite color is still red," he said almost nervously and gestured to the plain red bedding.

"You actually remembered that?" 

"Yes, there are…a few things that I think some would consider 'weird' for me to remember," Logan admitted. "Which is why I wanted to make sure you had a desk in here. I remember drawing was very important to you when we were kids, so I wanted to make sure you had a place to do that." 

Roman gently set his backpack on the desk. "Thank you," he said softly. 

"Are you okay?" 

The teen nodded. “It already feels more like home than the others. It’s...kind of a lot to take in.” Logan rested a hand on his shoulder and Roman all but fell into his arms. “It doesn’t feel real.” 

“I promise it is. And it will feel more real with time.” Logan ran a hand up and down his back. “C’mon, dinner will be done soon and Patton will be up here to chase us down if we’re not careful.” 

Roman chuckled a little. “During the car ride, I would’ve thought you were exaggerating. Now, I absolutely believe you.” 

“Well, either that or he’ll send his lackeys after us. We should get them too, so you can meet them.” 

Roman jumped when they turned around to find a hoodie clad teen in the doorway. "Hey," he gave a short wave. "I'm Lackey Number One. Patt just texted to come down for dinner." 

"This is Virgil," Logan gestured to the teen. "Try not to smack him when he sneaks up on you. Because he will sneak up on you at some point." 

Virgil lifted his hands, palms up, and shrugged. "It's rarely intentional. But it might be. Jan's already down stairs."

"Better not keep them waiting then," Logan waved the boys out of the room and trailed behind them down the stairs. 

"Hey, Lackey Number Two!" Virgil called from the stairs. "You're not special with your creepy eyes anymore." 

"'Lackey Number Two'?" Janus arched a brow. "I'm older than you." 

"I have more hours clocked with the Overlord," Virgil pointed out. "But, hey! Maybe you and Roman can trade eyes sometime." 

Roman gave a small wave when Janus looked up at him. 

The teen cocked his head to one side. "Cool contacts," he said after a momentary pause. 

"You too," Roman answered, still a little uncertain, and nodded at Janus's own mismatched eyes. 

"Welcome to our coven Lackey Number Three." 

"That's for witches, doofus," Virgil cut in. 

"How else do you explain Patton growing his own herbs in an egg carton?" 

Virgil froze. "Holy crap!" He muttered lowly. 

Logan just rolled his eyes. "I wish I could tell you they're being intentionally weirder than on average, but this is fairly standard for them." 

"Why, thank you for the compliment, Logan." 

"You're welcome, Janus." 

"Ah, yes. Janus, that's my name. I've been Lackey for so long I'd nearly forgotten!" He turned sharply to Roman. "Hello, my name is Janus." 

Roman glanced back at Logan. "I think I'll take my chances back in a group home." 

"Oh, don't worry about this," Janus gestured to patch growing over his left cheek. "It's just an old acid burn from when the Overlord became displeased with me." 

Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead. 

"Too much?" Janus asked innocently. 

"It's Vitiligo, right?" Roman asked. "People ask me about it a lot. I have Poliosis." He brushed back his white bangs. 

"Among other things," Janus answered. 

"You guys comin' or what?" Patton called from the kitchen. 

"Coming, Supreme Overlord," Virgil called back. 

Patton frowned as he poked his head from the doorway. "What?" 

"More shenanigans," Logan explained and ushered Roman into the dinning half of the kitchen. 


	4. First Nights Are Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First nights in a new home, no matter who is there with you, an be hard.

Roman stared down at the lasagna on his plate with a sense of dead, his stomach already churning and cramping. 

"Roman, what's wrong?" 

His head shot up to find Logan watching him carefully. "N-nothing," he answered with a forced smile. 

"We can make you something else if you don't like lasagna," Patton offered. 

"No, you don't have to do that. No, really, i-it's fine. I don't mind." He glanced back down at the plate and tried to take a breath. It seemed to lodge in his chest and his hands began to shake just slightly. A voice to his right spoke, said...something. A hand reached into his field of vision and then he ran. 

The silence that fell over the room was palpable. 

Logan seemed frozen in place, hand still hovering over where Roman's had been just seconds before. It was such a simple gesture, to place one's hand over another's. He'd done it so often before, with the others to calm or get their attention that he'd never thought twice about offering the same to Roman. The realization that the last hand that might have reached out for Roman had been unkind pained him. He stood rooted in place for a long moment before a figurative light bulb went off in his mind. 

“Of course!” Logan’s exasperated realization seemed to snap everyone back to reality. “Patton, will you heat up some chicken noodle soup?” 

“Well, sure, but can you explain whatever idea you just had?” 

“I don’t think it’s an eating disorder,” is all he said before trotting after Roman. 

\---

Roman coughed and sputtered over the toilet as his body tried to reject what he had not eaten. He jumped when Logan appeared beside him. 

“I’m fine,” he said quickly before Logan could speak. “I-” a tremor ran through his whole form as he dry heaved again. 

“Easy, Roman.” Logan massaged circles between his shoulders. “Try to take a slow breath. It’s okay-

“I’m sorry,” the teen gasped. 

“It’s alright-”

“I-I’ll be fine. I don’t- I-I can I’m sorry I can- please- I-” 

“Roman. You’re having a panic attack,” Logan told him gently. “I’m going to count to seven and I want you to breath in slowly.” 

Roman nodded and tried to do as he was told as Logan counted aloud and nodded his head in a steady rhythm. 

“Hold it.” Logan began counting again, but Roman’s breathing hitched and he inhaled sharply and his breathing quickened again. “Okay, okay, Roman, try this.” Logan took Roman’s hand and pressed it to his chest. “Breathe with me. In, slowly. Good. Out. There you go. One more time. Slowly. Good. Easy, Roman, everything’s alright. You're okay, you're safe. First nights are always hard, aren't they?” 

Logan took a wash rag from beneath the sink and stood to wet it. He sat on his knees across the teen and lightly daubed his reddened face. “There's always a tension to it. You never know what to expect, never know if you'll really be safe. You bounce between group home and foster home, always hearing second and third hand accounts about...everything that happens to everyone else. You start to wonder, how long before your luck runs out? Even if you've been in difficult or unsafe places before, you hear stories and...suddenly what you've been through isn't so bad. Suddenly," he sighed, "you're used to things that no  _ person _ , let alone a child, should have to face. You tell yourself that you've built an immunity to them, but all you've built are walls. And it is very hard to break away from all those things you do to keep yourself distant and safe." 

"I'm sorry," the teen said quietly. 

"I know, Roman, but you don't need to be. I know- I know you were moved around a lot. Probably more so than anyone else in this house. And I know that was hard. It's hard to know- to have a history of being sent away for not keeping certain standards of behavior while simultaneously not even being able to understand what those standards are, or your own behavior and why you can't seem to achieve those standards no matter how hard you fight for them. First nights are hard and scary because you don't know what to expect or how long it'll last or what's going to happen to you when you inevitably mess up. There's a lot of uncertainty to them." He let out a faint sigh. "I don't know the details of what you've been through, should you ever come to a point where you are ready to share that information I would be more than happy to listen to you, but I promise there is nothing you could do that would ever make me send you away." 

Roman nodded almost numbly. 

Logan opened his arms in a silent offer and Roman fell tiredly against him. For a long moment neither moved. 

"Sorry," Roman croaked and swiped his face as he finally sat back. 

“ _ I’m  _ sorry. I should have considered a food allergy sooner. How long have you had a dairy sensitivity?" 

The teen shrugged. "I don't think it was really that bad till a few years ago." 

Logan nodded. "It's not uncommon for allergies to develop or worsen during puberty. That’s what’s been making you sick lately, isn’t it?” 

Roman only nodded. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” 

“They didn’t believe me.” 

Logan shook his head, clearly confused. “What do you mean?” 

“I noticed I started getting sick after eating a few things and I tried avoiding certain foods to figure it out, but they just thought I was being picky because of the ADHD, because I’ve had sensory issues before. And I’d get in trouble if I wouldn't eat, and when I tried telling them I thought it was an allergy...they thought I was making up excuses.” 

Logan’s face hardened and he had to force himself to breath slowly before answering. “That isn’t going to happen here. That it happened at all was wrong, and I’m sorry that it did.” 

Both turned to a light tapping on the door. Patton stood just beyond the thresholding wearing an uncertain smile. “I’ve got some chicken soup nice and hot down stairs if you’re ready,” he offered. 

“Thanks,” Roman tried to return the smile. “I think so.” He and Logan came to their feet together and the three made their way down the stairs.

\---

“Don’t worry, we totally didn’t poison the soup,” Virgil said as the three came into the dinning room. 

“Valiant effort, but I’ve spent years developing an immunity to iocane powder,” Roman answered after a beat and took his seat again. 

“Mm. That’s why I use arsenic,” Janus nodded and sipped idly in his water. 

“Cyanide works great in sandies,” Patton added cheerfully. 

Virgil arched a brow. “That was shockingly dark for you, P.” 

“Gotta keep you on your toes!” he replied with a smile. “How’s the soup, Roman?” 

“Terrifying,” the teen nodded ate another spoonful of soup. “Thanks.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding another chapter tonight because October is ADHD Awareness Month and I've had something in my drafts that centers around ADHD!Roman, but to get there I need Roman as a bit more of established in the story.


	5. We Know You Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caring for different people can be difficult. Each has their own pasts that come with their own challenges. Caring for someone fresh out of a bad situation is different from caring for someone who's had time and been given a few tools to cope. It can be hard to feel like you're doing right by everyone, when the needs are so different. Luckily for Logan, Patton knows his brother well, and know just how much he cares for his family.

Logan collapsed face first into a pillow next to his little brother just as Patton was turning off his audiobook for the night. 

"What did I get myself into, Patt?" 

"You mean 'us'?" Patton jabbed Logan in the ribs. 

The elder rolled over and sighed up at the ceiling. "Yes, I'm afraid that is a more accurate statement." 

"That's not how I meant it and you know it," Patton scolded lightly. "You may be the oldest, but I agreed to this as much as you did. Besides, like you said, we knew before we took these guys in that there  _ was _ potential for them to be coming from bad situations." 

"It wasn't supposed to be  _ abuse _ !" Logan shot back. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap." 

"I know, Lo. I know you're just being protective. You used to snap at people like that all the time, do you remember?" 

Logan scoffed. "Do I remember being called 'mean' for chewing some kid out for trying to steal your spade at the park? No that doesn’t sound familiar." 

Patton smiled faintly. "I don't really remember having any other toys besides that bucket of beach toys. At least, y'know, until we were separated. And we never even went to the beach!" 

"That's because those were your favorite. I had to talk you out of sleeping with the spade more than once. I had to bribe you with the stuffed unicorn I found at the park." 

Patton frowned in thought. "I don't remember that." 

"Mom made me put it back once she found out about it." 

"Oh." A heavy silence fell around them. 

"I'm sorry, Patton," Logan found himself nearly whispering. 

"What for?" 

"This always happens when...we mention her. It's been sixteen years and we still don't know how to talk about it."

"Well, yeah. But we haven't been together for most of that. We were separated almost right after it happened. We didn't have a lot of time to cope with it together." 

"Do you remember her? Really, remember?" 

"A little. I remember going to the library a lot. I remember sometimes she would pretend we were on a cooking show while she made dinner. I guess I remember that...she really tried to make us happy. What about you?" 

Logan let out a slow breathe as memories of waking up to his mother's soft crying ran through his mind. He'd let her hold onto him for a while, then she would kiss his head and make him promise not to tell his baby brother about it. 

"I think you're right," he said softly. "I think she did her best. We should get to sleep." He sat up with a sigh. 

"You could sleep here," Patton offered. 

"I know, but I want Roman to be able to find me. He's had a hard first night already." 

Patton reached over and wrapped his arms over Logan's shoulders. "He'll settle in soon." 

Logan sighed and returned the hug. "It may take a little longer this time. We'll have to be patient with him." 

"And we  _ will _ be. I know you're worried, Lo, but I mean even Janus still has trouble from time to time. It's okay if it takes him some time." 

"I know. And it is not my intent to belittle that, but Janus came to us from a good home. Roman didn't. His reactions may be...more pronounced than Janus's. I know that Janus is still dealing with different things, and so is Virgil, but it's...not the same because of the timeline. It's not that-" he let out a frustrated sigh. 

Patton smiled fondly at his brother. "I know you worry about not always being good at showing that you care, but we can all see it. I know you care about each of the boys, but I know that you're really worried about Roman right now because all of this is new. It doesn't mean that you don't care about what the others are dealing with. Sometimes people just need to be cared for differently. That's okay." 

Logan nodded. "I don't want it to seem like I'm playing favorites." 

"It doesn't," Patton assured. "It just shows that you see they're different people with different needs. That's a  _ good  _ thing, Lo. Try to get some rest, okay?" 

"You too. Goodnight, Patton." Logan stood as Patton stretched his arms over his head. 

"'Night, Lo," he yawned. "Love you." 

Logan chuckled softly and ruffled his little brother's hair. "Love you too, Patt." 


End file.
